This is literally a life-changing decision. Don’t make it lightly. It should scare you, but also excite you and warm your heart. Deciding to be a single mom is not always an easy decision. Friends might say to you ‘oh, I’m basically a single mom. My hubby is never home.’ Well, sorry friend, you are not basically a single mom, you just aren’t. When you choose to be a single mom, you are the only person that loves that child like a parent. You are the only person that cares about the day to day stuff. Yes, yes, grandparents, family and friends will love your child and their accomplishments. Just not the way a father/partner would.
And that is okay.
Your child isn’t going to be scarred for life because they don’t have a father. They will be blessed because they have such a strong amazing mom, who decided to do it on her own!
If you aren’t sure you are ready, keep reading for 6 ways you’ll know you can be a single mom.
1. You love children
Maybe you have always wanted to be a mom, single or not. Or maybe you love to babysit or enjoy playing with your friends or families babies. All you know is you love children and you want one in your life. If when you look at a screaming toddler and your heart aches for them, then you are most definitely ready to be a single mom.
You’re good with children
You have been called a baby whisperer, you take a crying baby and sooth that sucker to sleep! You have been told how much patience you have for children that aren’t your own. When you arrive at a friend’s house, you greet the kids first and ask them about their day. Before acknowledging your friend. This is a good indicator that you’ll be a good single mom.
You’re an independent woman
You do things on your own, or you’re not afraid to try things on your own. Plus you can follow instructions (even IKEA’s), and do what needs to be done. Not only that, but you earn money and pay your bills. And you take care of you, and you do it well. If you want a baby, you have to make sure you can take care of yourself first, or a plant…Though I have killed my fair share of plants and my baby is doing just fine.
You’re able to ask for help
It really does take a village, and you need to know how to ask for help when you need it. Or take help when offered. Maybe you can’t reach something on the top shelf at a store. Try and find the cutest person around to do it… When you are unloading baby, let people take your diaper bag/gym bag/baby stuff. I know it is hard, you have a system right? But people truly want to help. Being a single mom doesn’t mean you have to do everything on your own. People will want to help. Learn to let them.
You have life experience
You have taken some time to find out who you are. Maybe you have done some extensive travelling, or gone on a few all-inclusive. You have a job or a career that you love, or that enables you to get by. You have friends and family that you hang out with, talk to and can lean on. The point is, you have a life. A baby needs her mom to have a life outside them too.
You have a great support network
A great support network can make or break you. When your baby is crying and you are crying and you don’t know what to do. It is really fabulous to have a friend or family member to call who can talk you through it or come over and help. Trust me, I lived with my parents for the first “few weeks”…. Even just having some online friends that you can ask questions to, without feeling judged, is so handy. Everyone needs help or a break now and then, especially a single mom. Your support network can be that break.
Now remember these are just my thoughts, and maybe you have some or none of these. That doesn’t mean you won’t be a great mom. If you want to have a child and you feel like you can provide for them, go for it. Many of these things can fall into place later. You can create a support network, and you will learn to be independent, having a child gives you life experience. You get the idea.
Read this to find out how I decided to become a single mom by choice.
Is there anything you would add to my list? Let me know in the comments! Remember, sharing is caring!