Before I started this whole process, I pinterested (yes, yes I did) how to find a donor sperm. I wanted to see what people did to find a donor and if I would be interested in trying the same thing. Donor parties are apparently something that people do.
And no, it was not something I was interested in.
It looked like fun, and almost bachelorette-ish, but in the end, I decided it just wasn’t me.
Since the beginning, I have been very open with what I was doing, I wasn’t (and am still not) ashamed or embarrassed about what I did. I have no issues answering questions when people ask (sometimes I think they think that they can’t). But at this point in my process, I didn’t want to be letting EVERYONE know. This was because I didn’t know how long it would take me to get pregnant or to even pick a donor to GET pregnant with. Or what if that donor runs out of sperm and I have to pick a whole new donor! So I decided to do it my way.
You may think I am anal, perhaps a bit crazy, but I made a spreadsheet to keep track of my donors. Well, this is after the initial vetting process… Let me start at the beginning.
How it all began – Donor search
After that appointment where I was told, “you can wait a few months but I wouldn’t wait a year,” I felt like I was in a rush. So I got my ass in gear and I went to my parent’s place, pulled up the website for donors and did a quick search. I knew what I wanted for sure, same RH factor as me, as well as blue eyes and the same hair colour. I knew I wanted the donor to have the same blood type as me, but that really narrowed down my search. So I looked for compatible blood types. I tried blonde hair first and got only about 15 hits, which I printed off. Then I tried brown hair which got a lot more hits and I printed those off.
I then signed up for the 24hr free pass.
DO NOT do this if you cannot spend the time to sit and go through them. This was brilliant, but you need to be able to dedicate some time to this task.
So my mom sat beside me and told me the donor number while I searched it in the box. This pulled up the pictures, and I crossed off anyone I didn’t like the look of.
But I thought of this whole thing like a dating app. I was swiping left on those I wouldn’t date, and swiping right/keeping those I would. I figured if I found my donor attractive and he looked like someone I would date, it would make the process more, I don’t know.. simple?
So my mom and I looked at photo after photo after photo, crossing off those that didn’t strike my fancy. Once we narrowed down the search that way, we went back and searched the donors that I had left.
Getting into the good stuff
This was a bit more methodical. I looked over their profile (which is crazy detailed BTW) and paid close attention to their health history. If there was cancer (specifically breast) they came off my list.
Cancer runs in my family so this isn’t something I wanted to double up on. This may be a non-issue for you though.
This removed, even more, potential donors.
I again searched each donor, and looked closer at their profile, and was able to cut a few more because they didn’t fit the bill. Once I had about 10 or so, I created a spreadsheet.
I named my donors
By this point they all had names. Some were based on who they looked like (one looked like Finn from Glee, so he was known as Finn) others it was what they wore or looked like, but each one had a nickname.
The specifics – on a spreadsheet
First I wanted to know their year of birth and then I wanted to know their blood type, I had a few that weren’t the same as mine, but most were. I wrote down if they were CMV (cytomegalovirus – a crazy amount of us have this and don’t even know it!) positive or negative. This wasn’t high on my important list… if I was doing this the ‘normal’ way I wouldn’t know if my partner had this or not. The website will tell you if their sperm has resulted in a pregnancy before, so that was added to my list. Then hair colour, eye colour, height and weight. The last thing I wanted was any ‘issues’ medical or otherwise that they listed.
This allowed me to remove a few more candidates (of course I couldn’t delete them at this point, I copied and pasted them below my chart just in case).
I was down to about 5 and needed more information. I added things like siblings, face shape, hair texture, skin colour, eyelashes, ear lobes etc. Just anything that might give another guy a heads up on someone else.
I then narrowed it down to 3 potential donors. This was hard work!! I saved the top tens information package to my google drive (as their donor number) and left it for the night.
Time to take a break
I went back and looked daily, trying to decide who I wanted to be the father of my child. When you start thinking like that, wow, does it become more difficult! This wasn’t a decision to take lightly!!
About a week later I went back to the site and typed in the donor’s numbers again just to check. Well lo, and behold. Of the 3, only 1 was left! So my decision was sort of made for me.
I called the company and asked how many vials were available. I wanted to know because this would help me figure out how many to order!
You can return the unused vials and get 50% back. This is as long as the vials haven’t left their storage bank. So my plan was to send one at a time to the clinic. Just in case.
Well, the women on the phone said there were like 70 vials left. So I decided to order 4 and send 1 to my clinic right away. I figured they won’t sell out in 4 months… I hoped not! The thought of doing the search over again made my head spin!
I now had everything I needed to make a baby.
Reality started to kick in. I was REALLY doing this!
If you enjoyed this, you will definitely enjoy this list: 10 Ways to Pick Donor Sperm.
Leave a comment below and let me know how you figured out who your donor was going to be!