That is one word to describe how I felt yesterday. I was at the mall shopping because the power had gone out at my house, and what else does one do when you have no power! It was crazy at the mall, but that is beside the point.
E and I were returning items, looking for deals and browsing. She is such a good little shopper right now. People just love her! She was scream talking and laughing at everyone who peeked into her stroller. It was a great day!
About an hour and a half in she starts to get fussy, so I pick her up into my ring sling and she settles back down, she loves to be carried and check out the world this way. As we are walking to the last two stores I wanted to hit before heading home, I look down at her and the left side of her face, on her forehead and into her head, is all blotchy. I pull her back to get a good look at her and her eye is all red and watery. She is rubbing it like crazy.
Now I panic.
She, on the other hand, is super chill.
Everything goes through my mind. A piece of fluff, something spicy from my lunch, something sharp that is going to scratch her eye, omg she is going to go blind, she is having an allergic reaction and soon she won’t be able to breath (she was fine, her breathing was never affected). But my mind races from low key to the worst case scenario very quickly. I basically run to the elevator, shut the door on people coming, rush out of the mall, while holding back tears.
I google clinics, and there is one across the street. Of course, it is Saturday at the mall, so it is a poop show trying to leave, and I am stressing, E is now crying (because she is in her car seat and that is apparently the worst right now), so I am freaking more.
I get into the clinic, a sign says the doctor isn’t seeing any more patients today, I think umm BABY! So I go up, and at this point, I am in tears because I think the worst is happening. I can by see the look on her face that the nurse thinks I am nuts. She says E is fine. She is smiling and doesn’t seem bothered by it. I am like, um her face shouldn’t look like this!! So she suggests I can go to the hospital.
Now I am trying to calm down because I know I am overreacting, but again, worst case scenarios are running through my mind and I can’t make them stop. I bring E back to the car, google the hospital and start driving. I get halfway there and MIss E passes out in her car seat. Now. I freak some more. Is she breathing? Does she look swollen? Why is she passed out?? So I pull over and check on her (I found a parking lot) and she is fine. She is just sound asleep.
I text two friends, a nurse and my mommy bff. Both basically say the same thing. No hospital, there are more germs there so unless it is an emergency stay clear and to go home and wait it out. My nurse friend says something that I found very helpful and calming.
“She is a mini you. Think of what you would do if this was happening to you”
That helped calm me down.
Surprisingly I am actually very good in a crisis situation… just clearly not when it comes to my daughter…
So I thought about how it is probably just a fluff, and I would use a wet cloth on my eye, and that I can do that to E if I go home.
I head home and when E wakes up like 1 hour later, her eye is still red, but the blotchiness of her face is gone, and she is happy.
Within the next hour, her eye returned to normal.
I took a bit longer to calm down. I knew she was fine, I could see the red going away, but I was still worried on the inside.
So for my first crisis situation, I was an absolute mess. How were you during your first crisis? Did you remain calm and in charge? Or were you like me, a bit of a hot mess?
PS: E is totally fine today. No redness, no irritation. She is in perfect health.