10 Ways to Pick Donor Sperm

Picking donor sperm can seem like a daunting task. There are so many sites and choices. So the first thing you really need to do is check with your clinic and find out which donor sites they use. You don’t want to spend time looking on one site only to find out they don’t work with your clinic.

Also if you are Canadian (or just not American) make sure your donor is compliant with your country.

 

Here are my top 10 tips for picking a donor.

Deciding to be a Single Mom by Choice is one difficult decision. So is picking the donor sperm! The other genetic half of your dream baby. If you are struggling to pick a donor read on for 10 fun tips to help you decide!

  1. Make it a game

While this is super serious, I mean you are picking out the donor of the other half of the gene pool for your child, it should be fun too. I thought of it as online dating. I swiped left so to speak on any donor I didn’t find attractive. That helped to narrow down the search, as it can be quite overwhelming at first.

  1. Get friends and family involved

If you do a search you may come across people who have done Donor Parties. This was not my thing, but it sure did look fun!! People would come up with a theme, many of which were penis-themed. They would then decorate, have treats and games that matched their theme and created a festive mood. It looked like many people did this when they had already narrowed down their sperm donor search. While others did it to narrow down their donor search. The choice is yours, have fun with it!

  1. Wine

No not whine about it, WINE about it. Enjoy a beverage. Sit back, relax, maybe light some candles and play soft music. Whatever gets you in the mood. 😀  The goal is to relax and feel comfortable, well that and pick out the sperm donor to help you create a baby!

  1. Clear your schedule

You need time to go through all the donors. There can be many depending on what you are looking for. Block off an evening, turn off your phone, log off Facebook, you don’t want to accidentally post something to FB! And really zone into what you are doing.



 

  1. Take notes

Print out your sperm donor list and have paper and pen handy. This way as you go through the list and start knocking donors off it, you can cross them out.  You can take notes beside the donors you are interested in. Try writing a little blurb stating why you picked them or didn’t. This way when you go back later you will have something to jog your memory about why you didn’t cross him off your list.

  1. Know what you want

Make sure you have an idea of what you want before you start. It can be overwhelming to see so many options and all the sperm donors that go with them. Know what is non-negotiable and what you’d like and maybe what you don’t care about. Don’t feel bad about crossing a donor off your list, because of a medical condition that you don’t want to add into your genetic mix. This is your child, and you have to do what is best for you and your baby!  It also narrows your choices down because not all donors will have your must haves or must not haves…

  1. Keep your options open

While you may want blue eyes and blonde hair, you may discover that that doesn’t leave you with much choice.  Print off that list and then search again, blue eyes and brown hair for example which will give you a bigger list. Once you have access to their photos you may find that many of these donors were blonde once too!

  1. Time to be picky

Once you have gone through and narrowed down your list, you may still have quite a few donor choices on there (I know I did). So now is the time to get picky. Take your would be nice to haves and apply them to the list. Did you want your child to have the same blood type as you? Cross off that donor (or in my case move their names down the list). Be picky about looks if you want, look for a specific face shape, detached or attached earlobes. Hair type. Anything at this point that appeals to you.  After all, you want your baby to look like you too!

  1. Give yourself time

Now that you have your donor list narrowed down, take a break. Put away your info, let your brain decompress, and give yourself some space from it.  A few days away from thinking about it may give you new insight and help you make a final decision. Just don’t wait too long. There is a chance that some of those donors won’t be there when you go back to it (trust me on this).

  1.  Have fun

While this is a life-changing decision, have fun with it. It shouldn’t be causing you stress or loss of sleep. Remember that no matter which donor you pick, this baby is going to be half you!! Go with your gut. Take what friends and family say with a grain of salt.  Remember it is your choice and you don’t have to share the final pick with anyone you don’t want to.

 

Want to read about how I chose my donor? Click here.

 

Leave me a comment and let me know if there is anything you think I should add to this list. And remember, sharing is caring! 

Happy choosing!

 

 

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

Deciding to be a Single Mom by Choice is one difficult decision. So is picking the donor sperm! The other genetic half of your dream baby. If you are struggling to pick a donor read on for 10 fun tips to help you decide!

Deciding to be a Single Mom by Choice is one difficult decision. So is picking the donor sperm! The other genetic half of your dream baby. If you are struggling to pick a donor read on for 10 fun tips to help you decide!

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

How I Made the Sperm Donor Decision

Picking your donor sperm can be overwhelming. There are so many options, so many donors, so much to think about! Read on to find out how I chose my donor.

Before I started this whole process, I pinterested (yes, yes I did) how to find a donor sperm.  I wanted to see what people did to find a donor and if I would be interested in trying the same thing. Donor parties are apparently something that people do.

And no, it was not something I was interested in.

It looked like fun, and almost bachelorette-ish, but in the end, I decided it just wasn’t me.

Since the beginning, I have been very open with what I was doing, I wasn’t (and am still not) ashamed or embarrassed about what I did. I have no issues answering questions when people ask (sometimes I think they think that they can’t). But at this point in my process, I didn’t want to be letting EVERYONE know. This was because I didn’t know how long it would take me to get pregnant or to even pick a donor to GET pregnant with. Or what if that donor runs out of sperm and I have to pick a whole new donor!  So I decided to do it my way.

You may think I am anal, perhaps a bit crazy, but I made a spreadsheet to keep track of my donors. Well, this is after the initial vetting process… Let me start at the beginning.

How it all began – Donor search

After that appointment where I was told, “you can wait a few months but I wouldn’t wait a year,” I felt like I was in a rush. So I got my ass in gear and I went to my parent’s place, pulled up the website for donors and did a quick search. I knew what I wanted for sure, same RH factor as me, as well as blue eyes and the same hair colour. I knew I wanted the donor to have the same blood type as me, but that really narrowed down my search.  So I looked for compatible blood types. I tried blonde hair first and got only about 15 hits, which I printed off.  Then I tried brown hair which got a lot more hits and I printed those off.

I then signed up for the 24hr free pass.

DO NOT do this if you cannot spend the time to sit and go through them. This was brilliant, but you need to be able to dedicate some time to this task.

So my mom sat beside me and told me the donor number while I searched it in the box. This pulled up the pictures, and I crossed off anyone I didn’t like the look of.

Shallow?

I guess….

But I thought of this whole thing like a dating app. I was swiping left on those I wouldn’t date, and swiping right/keeping those I would. I figured if I found my donor attractive and he looked like someone I would date, it would make the process more, I don’t know.. simple?

So my mom and I looked at photo after photo after photo, crossing off those that didn’t strike my fancy. Once we narrowed down the search that way, we went back and searched the donors that I had left.

Getting into the good stuff

This was a bit more methodical. I looked over their profile (which is crazy detailed BTW) and paid close attention to their health history. If there was cancer (specifically breast) they came off my list.

Cancer runs in my family so this isn’t something I wanted to double up on. This may be a non-issue for you though.

This removed, even more, potential donors.

I again searched each donor, and looked closer at their profile, and was able to cut a few more because they didn’t fit the bill. Once I had about 10 or so, I created a spreadsheet.

I named my donors

By this point they all had names. Some were based on who they looked like (one looked like Finn from Glee, so he was known as Finn) others it was what they wore or looked like, but each one had a nickname.

The specifics – on a spreadsheet

First I wanted to know their year of birth and then I wanted to know their blood type, I had a few that weren’t the same as mine, but most were. I wrote down if they were CMV (cytomegalovirus – a crazy amount of us have this and don’t even know it!) positive or negative.  This wasn’t high on my important list… if I was doing this the ‘normal’ way I wouldn’t know if my partner had this or not. The website will tell you if their sperm has resulted in a pregnancy before, so that was added to my list. Then hair colour, eye colour, height and weight. The last thing I wanted was any ‘issues’ medical or otherwise that they listed.

This allowed me to remove a few more candidates (of course I couldn’t delete them at this point, I copied and pasted them below my chart just in case).

I was down to about 5 and needed more information. I added things like siblings, face shape, hair texture, skin colour, eyelashes, ear lobes etc.  Just anything that might give another guy a heads up on someone else.

I then narrowed it down to 3 potential donors. This was hard work!! I saved the top tens information package to my google drive (as their donor number) and left it for the night.

Time to take a break

I went back and looked daily, trying to decide who I wanted to be the father of my child. When you start thinking like that, wow, does it become more difficult! This wasn’t a decision to take lightly!!

About a week later I went back to the site and typed in the donor’s numbers again just to check. Well lo, and behold. Of the 3, only 1 was left! So my decision was sort of made for me.

I called the company and asked how many vials were available. I wanted to know because this would help me figure out how many to order!

Return policy

You can return the unused vials and get 50% back. This is as long as the vials haven’t left their storage bank. So my plan was to send one at a time to the clinic. Just in case.

Well, the women on the phone said there were like 70 vials left. So I decided to order 4 and send 1 to my clinic right away.  I figured they won’t sell out in 4 months… I hoped not! The thought of doing the search over again made my head spin!

I now had everything I needed to make a baby.

Reality started to kick in. I was REALLY doing this!

 

If you enjoyed this, you will definitely enjoy this list: 10 Ways to Pick Donor Sperm.

 

Leave a comment below and let me know how you figured out who your donor was going to be!

 

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave