Picking donor sperm can seem like a daunting task. There are so many sites and choices. So the first thing you really need to do is check with your clinic and find out which donor sites they use. You don’t want to spend time looking on one site only to find out they don’t work with your clinic.
Also if you are Canadian (or just not American) make sure your donor is compliant with your country.
Here are my top 10 tips for picking a donor.
Make it a game
While this is super serious, I mean you are picking out the donor of the other half of the gene pool for your child, it should be fun too. I thought of it as online dating. I swiped left so to speak on any donor I didn’t find attractive. That helped to narrow down the search, as it can be quite overwhelming at first.
Get friends and family involved
If you do a search you may come across people who have done Donor Parties. This was not my thing, but it sure did look fun!! People would come up with a theme, many of which were penis-themed. They would then decorate, have treats and games that matched their theme and created a festive mood. It looked like many people did this when they had already narrowed down their sperm donor search. While others did it to narrow down their donor search. The choice is yours, have fun with it!
No not whine about it, WINE about it. Enjoy a beverage. Sit back, relax, maybe light some candles and play soft music. Whatever gets you in the mood. 😀 The goal is to relax and feel comfortable, well that and pick out the sperm donor to help you create a baby!
Clear your schedule
You need time to go through all the donors. There can be many depending on what you are looking for. Block off an evening, turn off your phone, log off Facebook, you don’t want to accidentally post something to FB! And really zone into what you are doing.
Print out your sperm donor list and have paper and pen handy. This way as you go through the list and start knocking donors off it, you can cross them out. You can take notes beside the donors you are interested in. Try writing a little blurb stating why you picked them or didn’t. This way when you go back later you will have something to jog your memory about why you didn’t cross him off your list.
Know what you want
Make sure you have an idea of what you want before you start. It can be overwhelming to see so many options and all the sperm donors that go with them. Know what is non-negotiable and what you’d like and maybe what you don’t care about. Don’t feel bad about crossing a donor off your list, because of a medical condition that you don’t want to add into your genetic mix. This is your child, and you have to do what is best for you and your baby! It also narrows your choices down because not all donors will have your must haves or must not haves…
Keep your options open
While you may want blue eyes and blonde hair, you may discover that that doesn’t leave you with much choice. Print off that list and then search again, blue eyes and brown hair for example which will give you a bigger list. Once you have access to their photos you may find that many of these donors were blonde once too!
Time to be picky
Once you have gone through and narrowed down your list, you may still have quite a few donor choices on there (I know I did). So now is the time to get picky. Take your would be nice to haves and apply them to the list. Did you want your child to have the same blood type as you? Cross off that donor (or in my case move their names down the list). Be picky about looks if you want, look for a specific face shape, detached or attached earlobes. Hair type. Anything at this point that appeals to you. After all, you want your baby to look like you too!
Give yourself time
Now that you have your donor list narrowed down, take a break. Put away your info, let your brain decompress, and give yourself some space from it. A few days away from thinking about it may give you new insight and help you make a final decision. Just don’t wait too long. There is a chance that some of those donors won’t be there when you go back to it (trust me on this).
While this is a life-changing decision, have fun with it. It shouldn’t be causing you stress or loss of sleep. Remember that no matter which donor you pick, this baby is going to be half you!! Go with your gut. Take what friends and family say with a grain of salt. Remember it is your choice and you don’t have to share the final pick with anyone you don’t want to.
Want to read about how I chose my donor? Click here.
Leave me a comment and let me know if there is anything you think I should add to this list. And remember, sharing is caring!